'The Beast' by Mr Whittaker, Malvern
 
My real name is Model 82 and I was born in 1936.

My nickname is “the beast" because, being solid fuelled, I require feeding twice a day and my cage needs cleaning out every two days!!

I have cooked thousands of meals for the same family for over 70 years and have received much praise for my efforts and ability to deliver meals on time.

Like all old pets I am now getting rather smelly and I fear that the young master (58) may soon replace me with a more attractive model.

I have suggested that he could take me to a specialist for some cosmetic surgery for some nip and tuck and preserve my good looks and functionality.

Better “the beast” you know, so to speak…

I know he loves old stuff and everything in its place.  I have lived here all my life and am very reluctant to leave in my old age to some sort of home for old servants.

I have provided a perfectly comfortable bottom warming social meeting point for generations of family and friends and know that I would be sorely missed.

The old house needs my warmth, please let me stay.